Self Talk - Find the Freedom.
I have been posting a few self-talks on here (1 & 2). And I am proud I have come this far, where I can post the inside of my mind and see the value, see the peace, see the kindness and the fire, and think that it might add value to your day. I am proud I got to this point where I clearly hear a voice that is mine beyond the noise in there, a voice that guides me to what is true and one I can never lose.
It is not a small thing, to befriend the mind. There is an inner critic running around. It grew with us since we were little, and it has grown strong. It keeps you quiet. It sets of bombs and alarms, it keeps things "under control", it keeps you scared.
But we need it. At least we think we do. it gives us access to what we should do, and who we should be, and what we should want, and even how we are supposed to feel. We need it to feel safe. We need it to know who we are almost.
Because in the middle of all the contradicting forces of life, it keeps changing its mind, it keeps having us putting up different masks, it makes us feel anxious and it has us running on empty. And in the middle of an ever-changing miracle of life, this inner critic - however much it grows, is simply not up for the job.
"The inside of one’s psyche is a very complex, sophisticated place. It is full of conflicting forces that are constantly changing due to both internal and external stimuli. This results in wide variations of needs, fears, and desires over relatively short periods of time. Because of this, very few people have the clarity to understand what’s going on in there. There’s just too much happening at once to follow the cause and effect relationships between all of our different thoughts, emotions, and energy levels. As a result, we find ourselves struggling just to hold it all together. But everything keeps on changing—moods, desires, likes,dislikes, enthusiasm, lethargy. It’s a full-time task just to maintain the discipline necessary to create even the semblance of control and order in there. - The Untethered Soul
I repeat: Our inner critic is simply not up for the job. We keep investing our energy here, only to find the same dead ends.
I have found a different way.
My inner critic is still there, yelling at me, but it does not call the shots. It is more like an annoying whiny 5-year old and less like a strict powerful father figure. There is a voice in between, a voice that goes with life rather than against it. A voice that accepts what is and that reminds me of my intentions, my needs, my aspirations. A voice that asks me to simply show up. A voice that actually has advise because it is the truest part of me.
The voice that calls the shots in my life is no longer an inner critic, but some kind of wise badass old young gypsy woman priestess. At least that is what I think she looks like, because that is what she feels like. She feels like me. Free. Free to be here. Free to change her mind. Free to surrender to life. Free to fully live it. Free to not agree. Free to stop fighting. Free to be water and fire.
It is so damn liberating so I want to let her speak to you, like she speaks to me.
Self-talk. Switch it around.
Talk to you like your own best friend.
Talk to yourself like the goddess that you are. Hold space for all your human parts.
Talk to the life in you.
These self-talk posts are about showing you there is a different way. That part, I let speak to you. Self-talk. Because my answers are your answers too, or they can guide you there. we are all so damn connected.
And that part, I let you read. Because the more I give that voice space over the inner critic, the more she becomes the loudest voice in my mind. The more my life is a gentle flow or a wild ride. The less my life is an anxious mess, a cage in fake control. The more what I build on is real. And if I ever held on to the inner critic because she made me feel safe, hell I can tell you, I have never felt safer than right damn now.
And that part I want to let you read. Because it is the realest thing. But more so because you can find out what your freedom sounds like too. Because you can listen beyond what you are hearing now.
Start spending time without planning things. Alone.
Look at the moon.
Get into your body.
Choose love. That is where it is at.
But most of all, start getting curious about what this freedom voice has to say.
She will be more than happy to show up.
Make space for her.
Make space for yourself inside your self.
Let your truth take up all the space in your mind.
And then let it speak.