On Your Way: Drop In
Day 2 in Barcelona. We both found a job. I should feel great but for some reason I don't feel like celebrating. There is a lot of compromise, my focus goes to what I am losing by chosing this, not so much to gratitude. I postpone the gratitude until we get an apartment, but then there will be a next unfinished step in motion too. Self-employment, growing a business. I realize I will keep postponing gratitude if I let it depend on "having fully arrived". That is a mythical, probably very boring, place. So here are some ideas to not fall into that trap and to fully be in the process of your becoming.
It is not about getting all your ducks in a row, then sitting back to admire them. It is about jumping in the lake and swimming with them. It is about one step setting another in motion, creating more possibilities. It is about taking inspired action in a way that creates so much momentum you feel like you can catch that wave to what is next. Change is a scary place to be: you take a step, a big yes to what you know is right, and then you feel the rush coming, the anticipation. Now you don't know what is next anymore - just that it is all happening and you are in the middle of it. It is a scary place to be. But fear and excitement are very closely related - and what gets you from one to the other is a shift in perspective.
Drop in to this moment. You left the land of the side-wheels on your bike, you are no longer in a place that runs on carefully drafted plans with specific timelines. Your mind is screaming or hiding in a corner, and that is okay because here you don't need your mind so much.. You will get your mind on board eventually (lifehack: meditation). For now, find your body and your heart.
Drop in. It is the only way you will make it here. Intuition runs this show. What it needs is for you to be present. The goal now is from one moment to the next in the wisest way possible (wise is different from logical or smart). To access that wisdom you need 1) a big picture guiding you and 2) to be fully with what is happening right now, not with what is happening in all the scenario's that your mind is making up about what might and might not happen or what other people might think. For now, find your body and your heart.
Drop in. Celebrate where you are. What you focus on you create more of. So look around you and see how far you have come. If you just found a job, like us, you did that. Congratulations. It is big and it is valuable, no matter how small it is in your big picture, you are closer than you were before. This step has value and its value does not depend on wheter you fulfill the next steps on your mind-made list. If we are only proud if ...., then we put conditions on our joy and on the universe, we break our momentum and slow ourselves down. Celebrate, stay in your flow and trust that the next steps will come. Deeply feeling and celebrating every step along the way will create more energy that you can use to fuel your momentum, and to light your fire.
You do not need to rush your way there. Take your time to be here. Do not take one big bite of an apple, to then quickly taste an orange, to then shoving a strawberry down your mouth. Then read a book on which one has more vitamins, or is the cheapest or... How will you know which one you like best after that? It gets you nowhere and your tastebuds are confused. But if you take your time to enjoy the juiciness that is different in all of them, to notice their colors and textures and flavors, see that would have been a very different experience, wouldn't it? One that is more embodied and grounded in a deeper understanding. One that will allow you to build on.
Do. Not. Rush. Notice the flavors and textures and juiciness of where you are, and you will naturally be guided to what is next. Drop in. Be present enough so you can feel your way onwards from here. Celebrate little wins to fuel your momentum. Enjoy your truth, it is buzzing at your fingertrips.
And remember Rumi's words: "What you seek, is seeking you."