On your path and off track at the same time?
Some days my life feels "off track". But is it? My to do-list consists of yoga, meditation, writing, reading, being in nature, having space to just be. Read inspirational books, articles. Practice handstand, clean my crystals. There is a clear path here, and I walk it everyday. The direction is within.
My path requires a lot of alone time - I am starting to see that is where I feel best, where my best "work" comes from. I need to make myself a little nest, to be creative, to write, to flow, to feel myself and the wold. This is where I feel in control - empowered; I am the master of my own time - I prioritize, I heal, I go hard, or I go gentle. I dance in my underwear for inspiration, or it comes to me after spending the afternoon in a lavender bath listening to a podcast. In my alone time, I recharge and give back: I become more "yogi", more "writer", more "coach".
But some days or weeks are not like that.
There is more than just this picture perfect path - there is life. There are other people out there, countries to explore, mountains to climb and hilarious tv-shows to watch. My path runs through a world that is made up of so many elements, all making up the mysterious whole that is this universe. And we are here, navigating this space. We have our path in mind - but a big part of that will always be to surrender and to adjust to what is around us.
See, some days have less yoga in them. Some days Grey's Anatomy teaches me more than the Bhagavad Gita. And I will choose sharing a bottle of wine with friends on the beach over a juice cleanse every time (up until now). Some dayse there are a lot of people around who all want specific things and think their own thoughts. A lot of days are filled with travel and parties and work - where we all exist in a rhythm that is not our own, but we dance a dance that is made up of all of our steps. Days can be planned, but almost always plans change.
Those days, I have to admit I often feel overrun by the world, overwhelmed, loosing my center. The mistake here is that I think there is an "I" and there is a "world", that this time alone is more valuable than surrendering and being part of chaos. That the "in" is where I am of value and the "out" is just where I float around. I want to write but I don't have words, I want to flow, but it feels forced. I want to meditate but my mind is a hyperactive monkey.
I feel of track. But am I?
In order to write about life, you must first live it.
I have to live big, explore, be out there, connect, dance, do, take in, let go - as much as I have to practise, write, heal, feel, etc. I have to live big so the alone time can serve its purpose. Otherwise I just feel alone, not alive. I need to live the life in its fullest in order to help other people do the same. The practise of yoga and the tool of life coaching are here to serve life, not to exist in their own little bubble. We practise wellbeing not for the sake of wellbeing, but for the stake of deeply enjoying life. We practise being healthy not just for abs and nutrients, but so we can show up energetically for all that life has to offer. When we forget that, we get annoyed when others interrupt our alone time, when life gets to busy for yoga, when we are tired and want to watch a show instead of practising handstand.
Finding a balance between the in and the out, the overflowing and the integrating, the inspiration and the consolidation, is where life turns golden. My alone time and my practises are the fuel to my life in the world. But the other side is just as true: my life is fuel too, for it gives me the stuff that makes up stories, it gives me the raw material to think about, write about, transform and integrate, it gives me connections so vital they keep me going.
My path is here so I can be fully in this life. So whenever I lose track , maybe I am exactly where I need to be, on my path. Drop rigidity, stay open. The in and the out - each in their own time, surrender, it is not just up to me - you - us. We are where we need to be.