belong to life. a poem from a different day

*

teleurgesteld door het leven omdat ik te veel verwacht kan iets verrassen als je verbazing verlangt?

uren heb ik op magie gewacht op mirakels en wonderen omdat ik het nodig acht

maar het leven is niet van mij als er al een ‘van’ is dan ben ik van het leven

*

life lets you down when you expect to much can anything suprise you when you demand to be amazed?

I waited hours for magic miracles and wonders the necessities of life

but my life does not belong to me if there is any 'belonging' here I belong to life

*

somewhere in 2013

 

I found an old folder in my computer yesterday. Full of poems and writing that I forgot about. From a time I was dark - I thought I would find nothing there I could relate to. But this girl, she speaks to me still. She was not crazy, she was hurt. She liked what I like now: words. And she used them well.

This is her. This is me. On the verge of change. On the verge of surrendering, to life. To being part of something bigger. Mustering up the courage to belong to life unconditionally, before it had proven its worth.

And then the magic happened.