Messy Balance

Being in Central-America for the last 6 months has been amazing. In terms of adventures and people you meet, but maybe even more so in terms of how all this affects your inner world. Now that we are coming closer to going home, I am paying attention. Trying to put it in words, to really grasp the lessons and understand the shifts, so that I can hold on to them when I get of the plane and "normal" comes rushing back in.  So here is one. Thanks to nature in all her glory, messy yet never loses sight of purpose. Reacting to different seasons, visitors. Ever blooming. Always on time. Always balanced. 

Balance always felt like a very demanding state to me. "I am a yogi therefor I shall be balanced." I used to think balanced meant ideal, perfect. But now, as I connect more and more to what is inside and accept what is there, the more balance comes natural. It is always in motion, meaning something different today and tomorrow. 

I felt balanced when I bought teabags for cold water just now, so I don't drink that diet coke everyday. I felt balanced two days ago when we had pizza. It felt right climbing a whole volcano in the beginning of this week. It also felt fine to climb "just" half of the other one because we weren't really feeling it. Maybe balance in the end is just what feels good. And learning what feels good again, leaving what we were told is supposed to feel good. Maybe balance is about making it your own again. 

Looking at balance like this allows us to drop the pressure and the expectations. It keeps the adventure and the spontaneity. It is not about chasing a picture perfect set of habits or routines. No. It is a natural state we arrive at when we drop the tension and when we connect. It is a messy state. Ever changing. Always responding to the moment at hand. No rigidity or rules required. 

Connect. Allow space for what you find. 

But I do also realize the challenge of going home in two weeks. A different rythm. A different weather. Different food and people and habits. But this concept of balance can stay the same. 

The question becomes: How do I connect and how do I allow space for what I find? How do I apply it in this context?

Same thing. Will my body change? Maybe. Will I let it? Yes. Because these past few months have also showed me that it was never about numbers anyhow. The numbers were a shortcut to where we thought we needed to go, that got us incredibly lost. Ha! I already new that, but now it is so crystal clear. It has been about feelings of connection, awareness and confidence. And it will stay about those feelings, here and at home and always. 

Balance allows us to realize we don't have to get anywhere. We can just drop into those feelings. Connection, awareness and confidence. And then it comes down to choosing thoughts, actions and habits that support those feelings, naturally. 

Be in the proces. It is nature. It is allowed to be messy, powerful, juicy, plenty, quiet and wild. 

You my love, are allowed.